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My next trip: Back to Ireland! August 2009

I heart Ireland, and I'm going back. I never even got to finish my other trip details from my Ireland/Scotland/London trip because they were soo f'in fun. This time I'm going to bring a new gal-pal, this one is on the verge of a divorce and what better place to bring her then to all the wonderful Irish men just waiting to recieve. All I have to say is, boys, scrub behind the ears because were not going to miss a thing this time!

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Wow man, this sucks.

I was to be on the Beach in Phuket that day!

I was to be on the Beach in Phuket that day!
Due to a strange freak of events3 weeks before we were to leave to on vacation to Phuket over x-mass and New Years my airline tickets were canceled. I and Palie were to be in Phuket the very day of the tsunami. Our hotel that we were staying in was the KARON PRINCESS on KARON BEACH. It’s crazy crazy crazy to think about it too hard, because I know how we travel. We travel in 2 rooms, and are picky about where we stay so I know I would have wanted to be on the ground floor, beach front room, and at 9:00am that morning I would still be asleep after a long night of drinking with Palie. Palie would have been up and around most likely setting on the sandy beach drinking her coffee waiting for me to get my drunkass up and going. It’s one thing to think about me getting washed away, but to consider losing Palie even for a few hours, I would have stroked out on just that issue alone. My heart goes out to the survivors and all the goodness that I can squeak out of my lump of coal for a heart goes to them.

>>>>PHOTO INFO>>>>>>>>>>>>
A Thai woman goes through salvaged items outside her house in Khao Lak, nearly 115 km north of the Thai resort island of Phuket on December 29, 2004. Corpses rotted in the tropical sun from India to Indonesia on Wednesday and many who escaped death from one of the worst tsunamis in history fought for survival against thirst and disease. REUTERS/Adrees Latif

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Wright, write, right...

Some Europe Essays:
Amsterdam: “Cannabis Cup: Hosted by High Times Magazine.”
Brussels: “AKA Fake France”
Paris: “Paris Hates Me”
London: “How to Royally Embarrass Yourself in London”
Athens: “Breaking up with then Boyfriend in ***tty Athens”

Mexico
Living in San Diego for many years, I was always next to or throwing up in Mexico. I find that there is never a time when I wouldn't give my left tit to be sitting on a beach, spiking my drink with a cleverly stashed bottle of Tequila, watching the waves and thinking about nothing.

Some Mexico Essays:
Puerto Vallarta: “Wedding Rings Come Off at the Airport”
Cabo San Lucas: “The Long Arm of L.A.”

Travels in The USA
Being American and all, I have been around. I live in San Francisco currently, and would never live any other place, in the United States, but right here. However, New Orleans make me feel funny "down there".

Some USA Essays:
New Orleans: “WHORE for New Orleans”
San Diego: “The good the bad the San Diego”

Africa
I did the balls out 30th birthday bash: I went to Egypt and traveled solo. I however did my very first organize tour with Contiki Tours and loved every single second of it.

Caribbean
I saw the Caribbean through the porthole of my first, last and only cruise. Put it to you this way: I would rather spend a week in jail, then seven nights on a cruise. However, the beaches were stunning and the fish were frisky

My first trip was your classic backpack trip. 5 weeks of what I look back on as hell, full of hostels, sleeping on train floors covered with spit and gunk. Trying to ditch then boyfriend, chipping a tooth on day old bread. I eventually went back to Europe several times after that, thinking I would get it right, by learning from each and every mistake I always make along the way.

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Smoker & Drinker, my kind of man

Rick Steves is SEXY

In the last 3 years I have been all over the world, some places a few times. Everything I did, every place I stayed, can be bought online or with your travel agent. Meaning: no Rick Steves style travel. Click on the Internet, call you agent, what ever, but book in advance and pay far less, with less travel stress, leaving time and energy to folly, fun, sun burns and sickness, like in my stories.

(However, Rick Steves is one bad ass mo fo. I have a signed photo of him in my office. Can you say GEEK?)

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Long story short: I turned 30 on the Nile.

A few years ago I had an accident and was assed out in bed for months. I was working in the modeling field (NOT as a model boys). I gained a lot of weight and had to change my career. I also knew I would be getting a big settlement.

So, lying in that damn bed, I kept thinking, "Why the *** this was happening to me?" And a vision popped into my head: The Great Pyramids of Giza.

So I grabbed the Yellow Pages and phone (1998 internet not yet as big of a deal) and started looking for a travel agent. I kept hearing the same thing from them: "You have to come into our office before I'll send you a brochure." I would explain that I CAN'T I'M FUUCCKING STUCK IN THIS GOD DAMN BED! However, when they asked if I HAD the money now or not, they would hang up on me when I said "Settlement coming soon." I figured I was going to spend around $20,000 on this reward-to-my-self vacation. But nope, they just blew me off. And that's when it all clicked: I was going to go to travel school and become a travel agent. And by god that's what I did.

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he he he...

"If there is, in fact, a Heaven and a Hell, all we know for sure is that Hell will be a viciously overcrowded version of Phoenix..."
Hunter S. Thompson (1939 - ), Generation of Swine