Eat %iLocal%i. Beware cartes/signs en %iAnglais%i and other Paris, France Tourist Trap Tips

I try to avoid mediocre restaurants that cater to tourists, and I am sometimes skeptical if the menu is in English or if the place has a sign that advertises they speak English.

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At Least Do This: Non... Not in Paris. Life is too short.

If you encounter one of the "trap" restaurants or cafes on the Champs Ellysees, Blvd. Montparnasse, Latin Quarter, or anywhere that advertises "loudly&proudly" in English,
run !

more and more french restaurants are putting little lines in English on the cartes.
I personally hate it.
Alternative: Get a Marling Menu-Master for France. (I have three: one for France, 1 for Italy, and 1 for Germany.) These are useful little tools for reading menus in any language.

Then look for smaller places off the main streets that have a lot of locals eating there.

Your hotel conscierge should most certainly be able to help you find good local places to eat. With a little practice you will be able to use your menu-master to decode any menu in any language.
"Emince de Volaille?"

I'd love reheated slices of roast bird (probably chicken) in it's juice and mild sauce for $10. (menu-master pg. 69)

You can find a Marling Menu-Master for France at many places online, such as Amazon.com and others. Check it out here:

you can buy Marling here

My advice, for what it is worth:
Don't waste your valuable time and money on mediocre cuisine in tourist traps.

The second foto of a red Latin Quarter Menu is by Anthony Atkielski

Not trying to offend anyone, and to each his own:
but in my opinion the Moulin Rouge
is a classic tourist trap.

Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec doesn't hang out there any more, but busloads of international tourists do.

(where is Le Pétomane when we need him?)

Bring lots of money, the staff has figured out just about every way to get most of it.
The Belle Epoque Dinner and Show package for one person is now 175 Euros ($276) per person!, with no extras included.
I can think of better ways to spend $300+ on myself than cancan, but hey, that's just me....

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At Least Do This: At least you can say you've been there.

But what the hell....

If you go to places like Moulin Rouge or Lido,
please enjoy, here's to you, and have a great time. Here's their website for a preview of what you are in for....

Moulin Rouge

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Though the Moulin Rouge certainly couldn't give a damn about my opinion it appears they are tired of being associated w/ the term "tourist trap" & are trying to do something about it.
Friends of mine who have visited recently tell me the food, value, and shows have improved (especially the food). In all fairness, I say if you have Euros to burn, check it out. PS..... No smoking now
Alternative: Walk up the hill on Rue Lepic to Montmartre.

At night, it's touristy too (and Clichy/Pigalle sometimes gets a "little hairy" at night),
but at least you can find little places to hang out or walk to where they don't vacuum the euros from your trousers so vigorously.

82 boulevard de Clichy 75018 Metro: Blanche
+33 (0) 153.098.282

Do me a favor and read the whole thing before you start throwing stuff.

The Champs-Elysees:

I still go there for multiple strolls everytime I visit Paris, but let's be honest - (imho) parts of the Champs-Elysees are becoming a beautiful, seductive, and overpriced tourist trap. (Charles de Gaulle would roll over in his grave.)

An espresso or drink at Fouquet's terrace for only 10 - 15 Euros
And let's not forget the below-average dinners & touristy glitz shows at the Lido for a mere $220 - $400 a pop (2008 prices) ... the dollar sucks

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At Least Do This: Hey, it's the Champs-Elysees.

She may be a little jaded, but despite the commercialism the Champs-Elysees is still one of the most warm, sexy, attractive, sassyest-classiest strolls in the world, especially down below Rond-Point.

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Alternative: I still make sure to wander down the Champs-Elysees every time I visit Paris anyway.
There IS no alternative to the Champs-Elysees ... I'll always love it.

Also: Some truly great restaurants (Guy Savoy, Les Ulysees Du Vernet, Ledoyen, etc.) and clubs hide just off the Champs Elysees. One block or two off the street and you're in Paris restaurant heaven.

Alsace on the Champs has excellent choucroute. Fouquet's has some of the best cafe/people-watching in the world (but the food @ Fouquet's is definitely a tourist trap....)

Champs Summary:
She's kind of like that aunt you see only during holidays: sometimes a little too much, ... but you still love her to death anyway.

"in France they kiss on main street..."