"BRIGHTON - FULL UP" Brighton by JohnnySpangles

Brighton Travel Guide: 926 reviews and 1,672 photos


Stay away from Brighton. Ever since they mucked around with the traffic system the place has become a no-go area. It took me nearly an hour to find somewhere to park yesterday, and then it took an hour and half to get out of the sodding multi-storey car park. The trains aren’t any better. The station is at the top of a hill, which is fine when you arrive but hard work on the way back. It’s especially heavy-going with a pocket full of small change after a hard day’s graft on the slot machines. It’s not even as if you can get a taxi up to the station, because the traffic doesn’t go anywhere. I drove down for a bit of sea air yesterday and all I got was a lungful of petrol fumes and a carrier bag full of a child’s car sick all over my windscreen.

It didn’t used to be like this. Once upon a time Brighton wasn’t popular with anybody and didn’t warrant a farcical one-way system. However now it’s full of twee little shops selling overpriced crap and farty galleries selling atrociously bad art. The problem is that all this tosh drags in the punters like a freshly laid dog’s egg draws in flies


When I lived in Crawley I used to go down to Brighton for breakfast on a Sunday morning. No problem, grab the papers, jump in the car, scoot down to Brighton, park the car where the bloody hell you like, scoff a large old fried breakfast, then back home in time for the pub to open. Now it’s full of middle-class ponces ***tering on about ‘How continental Brighton is now’ or ‘That’s a fun little shop, shall we buy some of their driftwood?’

If you’re like me and used to like going to Brighton because it was so laid back that you could accidentally trip over it, then let me make a recommendation; go to Worthing instead. There’s bugger all there, but that’s the beauty of it.

And another thing, my rubbish bins haven’t been emptied for nearly two weeks now. Harumph.

  • Last visit to Brighton: Jul 2003
  • Intro Updated Feb 6, 2012
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Comments (2)

  • biggeorge's Profile Photo
    Sep 19, 2004 at 7:13 AM

    There is still a wee bit of space in between stag-hen nights and monster child buggies, . Good recommendation for Worthing there really is sod all there.

  • Jan 23, 2003 at 9:11 AM

    Why havent I found your pages before??! Theyre brilliant!



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