Beijing Tourist Trap Tips by Confucius

Ming Tombs: An over-rated waste of time; you'll wish you had walked further on the Great Wall that day. Chinese tour guides always include it with Badaling......

Beijing Zoo: Chinese prison camp for animals. The pitiful pandas here probably wish they were buried at Ming Tombs.

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At Least Do This: The best place in China to see pandas is in Chengdu, Sichuan province.
Alternative: UPDATE: There have been significant improvements in Beijing Zoo's conditions over the last several years, and the adjacent new aquarium is a good place to take children.

Most people who visit the Great Wall go to Badaling because it is closest to downtown Beijing.
Nearly all tour groups use this section of the Wall for the obligatory half day excursion. As a result, it's often described as the most crowded section of the Great Wall by those who have been fortunate to visit other more remote sections like Simatai and Gubeikou.

One of the first sights you'll see after getting off the bus is a long row of souvenir stalls all selling the exact same merchandise. At Badaling there can never be too many identical souvenir stalls, and so once you get on the wall you will find more of the same stuff as you hike toward the beacon towers on either side.

Despite the fact that you might be out of breath after walking up hundreds of steep steps, vendors will greet you at places on the Great Wall which they have determined are most frequently used for taking a rest. One annoying young Chinese man even offered to teach me magic tricks, actually hoping that I would not simply take a rest but also take an interest in buying his magic kit.

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At Least Do This: Just ignore the vendors. You'll quickly tire of returning "hellos" as you get tired anyway.
Alternative: The nearest good alternative is Mutianyu, which does not have as many vendors atop the Wall. If you have enough time for a full day excursion then go to Simatai/Jinshanling, Gubeikou, or one of the other more remote sections such as Huanghua or Jiankou.

The Longdi Superior Jade Gallery is a tourist bus stop on the way to Badaling Great Wall. It was designed to feed tour groups in an attached restaurant and then hold them captive inside a sales exhibition warehouse after the set meal. Each table of the tourist restaurant has a bottle of China's strongest rice wine with rows of small "shot glass" sized cups enabling groups to drink simultaneously. The bus driver is held hostage in a separate cell so that the bus door can be locked, thus preventing tourists from boarding immediately after lunch.

Visitors are marched like prisoners through a corridor past a glass enclosed workshop where Chinese artisans labor over jade handicrafts that they've been carving all day long. They then serve their brief sentence inside a massive gallery of merchandise featuring not only jade but also porcelain, carpets, and cloissonne.
Closed circuit television cameras monitor prisoner activity so that a tourist who gives any merchandise a second look is quickly approached for immediate sales assistance. (All major credit cards accepted!)

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At Least Do This: At least take a photo of the large jade ship inside the gallery. There are English signs telling you that such picture-taking is not allowed but this is a gift shop, not a Buddhist temple. (See my additional photo)
Alternative: The alternative is to visit a more remote section of the Great Wall, but this is not possible if you are travelling with a tour group. Almost all tour groups visit Badaling Great Wall instead of Mutianyu or Simatai, and so the arrangement with Longdi Jade Gallery is very convenient for tour companies who like the close proximity of the jade factory to Badaling because then they don't have to worry about where to eat lunch.

"Don't worry! There will be sufficient time for you to shop for merchandise at the conclusion of our brief stop here at the factory..."
Sound familiar? If you thought you were going straight to the Badaling Great Wall on an organized tour then you probably lost an hour of hiking when the bus suddenly stops at a cloisonne factory and holds you and your group hostage inside for much longer than the half hour your Chinese tour guide announced.

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At Least Do This: At least appreciate the work that goes into the details of that cheap pen set that you feel pressured to purchase.
Alternative: Instead of going on a group tour of Beijing why not see the sights on your own? If you are still interested in cloisonne factories and have extra time then they'll always welcome you even if you're not in one of the tour groups. Most organized tours of Badaling include stops at handicraft shops, so it's better to see the Great Wall elsewhere by yourself or arrange your own private transportation.

Actually this Beijing cloisonne shop is probably one of the better factories for girls from the countryside to work in.

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At Least Do This: At least try communicating with the assembly line workers. Any kind words or gestures you make toward them become cherished memories that they share with their families and friends far away.
Alternative: If you're not enjoying the cloisonne factory then ask to be shown around the local brewery or some other socialist showcase that's more to your taste.