SF nightlife varies a lot depending on who is playing that night, who the organizers of the party are etc. A place that is great one night can really suck some other night you go. Some places I can recommend checking out are -
Cloud 9 - If you like deep house - look for Frenchy's nights, especially Fridays are good
Butter - small but distinct DJ bar at Soma, has its own cool crowd
Le Colonial - if you want to go for drinks at a nice place downtown. Has a nice French restaurant downstairs.
Redwood room @ Clift Hotel- the crowd is not that cool but the decoration of the place is... Watch out for overpriced drinks.
Tunnel Top - a downtown bar with its own urban clientele. The DJ usually plays mellow hip hop but it's not average your hip hop bar.
111 Minna St gallery - they have a cool happy hour on Wednesdays and some good parties on weekends.
Matrix Fillmore - a nice bar to hang out at the Marina, although it's pretty much all Marina crowd (all American frat boy types and blonde girls, that is)
Foreign cinema - if you catch the monthly "Delicious Karma" party, that one is really good.
1015 Folsom - all the big name European DJ's (usually trance) visit this place. Not my type of crowd though.
Ruby Skye - Really big club downtown with impressive decoration. The clientele is usually from outside San Francisco. Look for nights where they throw a special party or a famous DJ comes in. It's the best club in SF IF there is a good party. Cover is usually $20. Dress code enforced.
Club NV - If you like Hip hop, I think this would be the best choice. i don't like hip hop and i've only been there once, but I know some of my friends who are into hip hop go to this place.
As for DJ's, look for Frenchy le Freak, Dimitris Mykanos and DJ Donovan for some good house music. Mark Farina is a trademark SF deep house DJ. Sen sei and David Coleman are good DJ's as well.
DJ Aykut throws good international parties (www.piyassa.com)
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