London Tourist Trap Tips by KennetRose

It is undoubtedly magnificent. It rose from the ashes of the fire that destroyed the city in 1666, it stood defiant against the Blitz, and it withstood the bloodier onslaught of property developers in the 1960s who left it surrounded with the most unworthy tat. And it gets very crowded with tourists, especially in summer.

To beat the crowds, there is now a hefty charge for admission. There is an exception to this, however...

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At Least Do This: Go along for Choral Evensong - any day of the week. If you are attending a service, there is no admission charge. It is less crowded in the evening, and the music is absolutely divine!
Alternative: Churchgoers on the electoral roll of the Diocese of London are entitled to visit their cathedral church without paying an admission fee. By having a quiet word with the Verger, this can usually be arranged.

The combination of fried, battered fish and deep fried potatoes is thought to have been introduced to London by the Jewish community, and for many years some of the best sit-down fish and chips came from Bloom's kosher restaurant in Whitechapel (sadly now closed). Of course, everybody expects to find fish 'n' chips in London and the rip-off merchants know this.

If you want good F'n'C, avoid anywhere with tired looking fish waiting in a warming cabinet (the best fish is fried to order). And give a very wide berth to any establishment displaying a Union Jack.

Fish and chips was always resistant to chains, but a national chain seems to be appearing called "Mr Cod". Chains never bring benefits and individuality, only standardisation.

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Alternative: A selection of excellent chippies appears in the Restaurants section on this page.

As haddock is less in demand than cod (it's more a northern thing and as a northern lass myself I think it's a better, tastier fish) it's more likely to be cooked to order. You'll have to wait a while but it's worth it.

Smaller than you think, dirty, polluted and tacky. Real Londoners avoid it like the plague, or at least scurry through as quickly as they can. A pity, because some really nice places are nearby. 'Eros', officially the Shaftesbury Memorial, should be firing his arrows up Shaftesbury Avenue but when he was replaced after cleaning some years ago he was put back the wrong way round. Eros became a symbol of the naughtiness of Soho, a thought that would have appalled the puritanical Earl of Shaftesbury!

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At Least Do This: Lots of really nice places close by. Get out of the Circus as quickly as you can. St James's Square is a good retreat nearby.

Not where most Londoners would choose to shop. The exception is Selfridges. Surprisingly often, if there's something you need and can't find however hard you look, even in Harrods, Selfridges has it!

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Alternative: Go a little way down Regent Street to Liberty's and gawp at the frocks you can't afford to even *think* about buying!
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Or go to Kensington High Street.

The first couple of hundred metres of this road are lined with the tackiest of hard-sell hi-fi and camera shops. Somebody I otherwise respect once compared it to an Arab souk, but that seems pretty far-fetched to me! I always feel I need a bath after going along here.

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At Least Do This: Go the the north end, where there are good Indian restaurants nearby as well as Heal's famous furniture shop. Or the streets to the west for the pubs, cafés and Greek restaurants of the area known as 'Fitzrovia' (after Fitzroy Square).