Schloß Neuschwanstein and other Germany Tourist Trap Tips

If you're from North America, most people will tell you that if you haven't been here, you haven't been to Germany.
Most likely this castle was catapulted into fame by Walt Disney, who was looking for a free-standing model for Sleeping Beauty's castle, and this one hit him right smack between the eyes. Stunning, isn't it?

The problem is, is that it's not really a castle - it's a more or less a chateau for the last estranged King of Bavaria, Louis II (Ludwig).
It was constructed according to his private Wagnerian fantasies, and was the ultimate reason why Bavaria went bankrupt and was eventually forced to become a part of Germany. At least the Bavarians are getting their money back these days, by chasing tourists by the container shipload through this practically empty castle (Ludwig died before the palace was finished) at 9.00 € a pop in 15 minute intervals.
Be prepared to stand in long hot waiting lines (with no drinking fountains) in the summer, paying outrageous parking fees and being jerked through the castle at a pace faster than you can shoot pictures.

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At Least Do This: Go early - be the first ones during the day. If show up later than 11:00 a.m. you might get in by 3:00 p.m. if you're lucky. And the guides may be too burnt-out to to answer any questions, because they are under pressure to push as many people per day through the castle as possible.
Alternative: This "fake" castle (knights never-ever lived here) is simply not worth it. Try one of the cities that the UNESCO has recognized as World Cultural Hertitage Sites, such as:

The Cathedral in Aachen
The Old Town in Bamburg
The Bauhaus Workshops in Dessau and Weimer
The Museum Island in Berlin
Augustburg and Falkenlust Palaces in Brühl
The Wies Pilgrimage Church in Steingaden
The Martin Luther Memorial in Eisleben
The Rammelsberg Mine in Goslar
The Cathedral in Hildesheim
The Cathedral in Cologne
The Hanse City of Lübeck
The Monastery in Lorsch
The Monastery in Maulbronn
Sanssouci Palace in Potsdamm
The Old Town of Quendlinburg
The Monastery Island of Reichnau on Lake Constance
The Cathedral in Speyer
The Coal Mine in Essen
The Roman Porta Nigra in Trier
The Old Steel Mill in Völklinger
The Bishop's Palace in Würzburg
The Wartburg Castle in Eisenach
Goethe's Classical Weimar

This is tourist trap number two. To be honest with you, I haven't quite figured out what the real attraction here is. Maybe it was because Mark Twain was once here, or maybe because it's a convenient bus stop right in the middle of the way between Frankfurt/M and Munich, or maybe because "Daddy" or "Grandpa" once serve time in the Army here.
It certainly can't because of the ruined castle, which was wasted in 1493 by the French during a royal family feud (not Allied bombing).
There certainly isn't much to else see, other than the quaint "student" bars that students and other mortals can no longer afford to visit.
Whatever it is that drives the North Americans and Japanese here in droves to photograph this town on the Neckar River, the city fathers are proud of it, and continue to apply more "cuteness" to the older part of town that was never there to start with. It sells well.

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At Least Do This: The castle tour is o.k., and is not expensive (for that little what's left of it that you get to see).

If you go to eat in one of the "student" bars be prepared to pay 20-40 dollars for dinner. You might rather eat at your hotel and stick to drinking a beer at one of these bars.
Alternative: Although Heidelberg has applied to be accepted as a UNESCO World Cultural Heritage Landmark, it's been overlooked for several years now. For real cultural landmarks try:

The Cathedral in Aachen
The Old Town in Bamburg
The Bauhaus Workshops in Dessau and Weimer
The Museum Island in Berlin
Augustburg and Falkenlust Palaces in Brühl
The Wies Pilgrimage Church in Steingaden
The Martin Luther Memorial in Eisleben
The Rammelsberg Mine in Goslar
The Cathedral in Hildesheim
The Cathedral in Cologne
The Hanse City of Lübeck
The Monastery in Lorsch
The Monastery in Maulbronn
Sanssouci Palace in Potsdamm
The Old Town of Quendlinburg
The Monastery Island of Reichnau on Lake Constance
The Cathedral in Speyer
The Coal Mine in Essen
The Roman Porta Nigra in Trier
The Old Steel Mill in Völklinger
The Bishop's Palace in Würzburg
The Wartburg Castle in Eisenach
Goethe's Classical Weimar

Tourist Trap N° 3

Wow! This place is such a tourist trap that it's one of the few towns in Germany that has translated their website into Japanese!
Most likely Rothenburg ob der Tauber owes it's continuing worldwide fame, thanks the clever entrepeneur Käthe Wohlfahrt, who had the foresight in the late 70's to advertise in U.S. military publications, such as "Stars & Stripes" and "Off´Duty", and was one of the few souvenier shops that made a living from selling Christmas decorations year 'round.
Christmas decorations are not something that Rothenburg is famous for - it's something Käthe Wohlfahrt is famous for. Most of the handmade decorations that used to come from the Erz Mountains in Saxony are now produced in the People's Republic of China. But Käthe's store hasn't suffered any dent in it's sentimental "cuteness" that all of the tourists gush over. Her enterprise has now sprawled out into 3 adjoining half-timbered houses, packed with Commercial Christmas Cuteness, where everything is darling except for the prices (nasty tongues wag about how only the symbol changed when Germany went over to the Euro).

Nevertheless, the town has an unique medieval charm that has survived throughout the centuries. Amazing are the hotels in this town, located in century old half-timber houses, which are seldom inexpensive. Somehow they have cleverly managed to agument them with the latest comforts of home. Whereas at the end of the 70's you had to ask for a room with a bathroom, these days every room has it's own bathroom, and have satellite television in the rooms as well.

Interesting to see, or course, is the criminal museum, which even has most of it's exhibits in English and Japanese. This museum is unique in Germany, and offers visitors an interesting view of the history of the legistation, judical and capitol punishment system during the middle ages.

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At Least Do This: Wait until September, if you hate hordes of tourists. The major tourist season here is from May-August and in December (the Christmas Market). In April and September the German tourists like to come here, and it's usually not so cold in September that you cannot sit outside in a cafe. The service is friendlier and more relaxed, too.
Alternative: Hmm, still one day left for Germany before you check it off the list? And it's the middle of July? Try Würzburg! This Episcopate (Bishop) city is really worth seeing, since it is usually not too over-filled with tourists, and because it's a small city and not a little town, you have an adequate choice when it comes to restaurants, hotels and shopping. Besides, Würzburg is well-known for it's excellant choice of Franconian wines, and Northern Bavarian (Franconian) charm and hospitality.

What started off as a celebration for the royal engagement of King Louis II of Bavaria has now turned into Bavaria's biggest business in the tourism branch. It's rumoured that the turnover here exceeds the GNP of other European countries, which means a party that only has one aim - to be a commercial success. It is very over-crowded and over-priced. You will wind up paying more for a beer here than anywhere else in Germany - and that based on the per liter price!
These days getting a seat in one of the beer tents is liking winning in lotto! Ever since the Japanese business tourists have made it fashionable to reserve entire tents, most people spend the entire time waiting in lines to get in the tent. The last time I was here, I thought they should re-dub the Hacker-Pschorr tent the Diamler-Benz tent, and the HB tent the Hitachi tent. Really folks, although this is the famous biggie - Oktoberfests are held all over Germany in the meantime, and the ones just outside of Munich are nice, too.

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At Least Do This: If you must go here, go before 9 p.m. After 9 p.m. you won't be able to order a beer anymore. I AM NOT KIDDING! They stop drafting at 9:30 p.m. (and they call Munich an "International" city) If you are not used to drinking alcohol, don't order more that 2 Mass (1 liter glasses), because this is about the max any lightweight can tolerate without really getting sick. The police in Munich don't think public drunkeness is as cool as it looks on the boulevard TV shows, and pickpockets, who abuse the drunkeness of the visitor are attracted to the Oktoberfest like flies are to cow manure.
Alternative: If you want to visit a real Oktoberfest with local class without the mass tourist negative image, and it must be in Munich, try a surrounding scenic area like Starnberger See (Lake) or any of the local surrounding towns like Passau, Rosenheim, Petershausen, Dachau, etc. They're just as nice, and less expensive, and the beer tents don't have doormen and lines.