Netherlands Tourist Trap Tips by ATLC

As a citizen who is proud of her country, I beg you, don't just visit Amsterdam!

I know, Amsterdam is fun, lively, breathtaking, multicultural and all that. But please explore the width and heigth of this small country where the longest distance that you can drive is only 3 hours.

How about:
-our famous waterworks in the province Zeeland (Neeltje Jans)

-the St. Jan cathedral in 's Hertogenbosch which is of the well known French grandeur, style and size

-national park Hoge Veluwe where you can get free bikes to cycle round and visit St. Hubertus hunting lodge, an example of world famous architecture by Berlage

- one of the world's best zoo's in Emmen (called Noorderdierenpark)

- the typical flat landscape in the province Friesland of true postcard beauty

- little seaside towns like Middelburg, Hellevoetsluis, Brielle, Scheveningen, Zandvoort, Staveren, Harlingen...

- Groninger museum in Groningen (the city is great for a few days out as well)

- Gouda (known for its cheese, although not made there anymore) where you'll find another St. Jan with the largest stained glass collection in the world

- Rotterdam with great nightlife, modern and old architecture, multicultural neighbourhoods, museums and the mighty river Maas

- a tour fortified towns from the Middle Ages in The Netherlands (like my hometown Brielle in Europoort)

- Three country point (Drielandenpunt) down south where you can be in Germany/Belgium and The Netherlands at the same time (if you MUST go abroad!)

- Maastricht and the grottoes and great night- en streetlife and culinary delights

- shall I go on?

Just visit my travelogues and travelpages about the other Dutch cities!

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I was just emailing with Kiwi (Pam) when this expression came up that seems to be quite unknown in English.
In Dutch, if you are baffled by something, your pants drop.
You would say: 'that makes my pants drop'.
Or even: 'good thing I was sitting down or my pants would've dropped !'

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At Least Do This: Don't look surprised if you hear that: daar zakt m'n broek van af (that makes my pants drop). It's not rude. Just an expression.
Alternative: Why should there be an alternative? It's a perfectly good expression.
I'm not sure I should post a photo with this tip. Let me just mull over that...

The Dutch appreciate a firm handshake. That's for one.
Another thing is: since about 20 years, friends and family shake hands and meanwhile kiss each other 3 times, alternating cheeks.
I remember when I was little, people used to only kiss once, or maybe twice. But the custom from "below the rivers" (meaning rivers Maas and Waal) spread all over the country and now we kiss three times.

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At Least Do This: You should know this because if you kiss once or twice, and the other person means to kiss you three times, then you get some awkward movements!
Alternative: Personally I prefer a hug!

The Netherlands is a small country, so the longest trip you can make is about 300 km. if you go from south to north.
Roads are good, so are the cars. Many of them. Which means that especially in the west of the country (Randstad = triangle Rotterdam-Amsterdam-Utrecht) you will find yourself in traffic jams from 7-9:30 in the morning and 16.30-18.30 in the evening.

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At Least Do This: If possible avoid the rush hour.
If you have a mobile phone, send an SMS to 969 (KPN) stating: FILE (followed by the moterway number for example A15)...
thus: FILE A15 will give you the traffic jams (FILE in Dutch) on the A15.

Just FILE will give you all traffic jams.
Alternative: An alternative is public transport: train, bus, metro.
See my transportation tips.
And specifically the scheduler of all public transportation across the country here. (Including translation)

Probably not typically Dutch but we will all complain about the weather.
Somehow a summer will always remembered for its rain even if there was plenty of sun too.
If summer is too wet, the farmers will complain that the harvest won't be good and we can expect higher prices.
if the summer is too dry, the same happens.
The winters will be considered wet and horrible if there is no frost and nice snow.
If there's frost and snow then there will be complaints about the effect it has on traffic and that it is COLD.
Lately, summers can be quite hot. We've had weeks of around 25-30 degrees Celsius. Of course we will then stay inside and buy air coolers as Dutch climate should definitely not take on the air of a tropical country.

If it is nice and warm, it always remains like that for too short a period.

In short, no weather is ever any good!

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At Least Do This: Just don't start about the weather! You will always get a complaint :-)))
Alternative: Tell your Duch hosts that the weather is even worse in your country (make it up, if you must). You will either be contradicted (true or not) or you'll make us feel better :-)

The weather is taken very seriously though. Because the country is below sealevel.
Check Dutch weather station KNMI for the story about the big flood in 1953 where over 1800 people died.
The photo is from that website.
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We're down-to-earth, tolerant, always looking for consensus, generally not agressive and certainly not highly emotional.
That's what you should know when talking to us Dutchies.
On the other hand we may seem disinterested, asking a lot of questions may come across as impertinent or impolite.

Always trying to see both sides of the matter might lead to nothing.
You're supposed to have an opinion on anything but not too strong or you'll be cut down for being arrogant.

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At Least Do This: The Dutch have a sense of self-righteousness and political correctness which can be tedious.
Our proverbial tolerance is a great thing. But it might just border on disinterest.
If something doesn't affect you, you can condone it - maybe you call that tolerance too!
Alternative: Try it out and see if you come to the same conclusions!

Check out http://www.zinloosgeweld.nl/10.lng/default.asp (in English)
An organisation against senseless violence in our country. Of course, violence never makes sense.
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So you're at the home of a Dutch family at about 18 hrs which is dinner time. You get a plate of vegs, potatoes, meat and gravy. To your horror you see everyone pick up their fork, move it to their right hand and start mashing up the food on their plate. This is called PRAKKEN. Within a blink of an eye the food is eaten.

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At Least Do This: Don't follow example! You are right to be horrified.

When VT had it's contest of best VT pages, judged by leading American travel journalists, this tip was singled out as a favourite!
For all the winning pages (including this Netherlands page), see here.
Alternative: Just eat the way you want. Food should be enjoyed. If the food doesn't arrive at the table mashed already (like our stamppot, a bubble 'n squeak kind of dish), then just eat it like you're used to.
As a Dutchie I am ashamed to admit that I do mash up my last potato with some extra gravy :-)))

Go to the toilet in a Dutch home and you''ll often find a birthday calendar stuck on the door. Which always makes me wonder: if it is stuck on the door, the women will read it. If it is stuck above the toilet, the men can read it.

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At Least Do This: Toilets in NL will usually be clean. So there's nothing stopping you sitting there and taking ample time to study the birthday calendar at length. You'll find nieces and nephews, wedding anniversaries and deaths.
I always check if they have a birthday on my birthday and if I am, in fact, even on their calendar!
Alternative: Come back from the toilet an announce that month's birthdays to your hosts! After all, why wouldn't you have been studying their family and friends if they hang up that info in such a public place.
Also announce your own birthday if it's missing from the calendar and be suitably "insulted" if in fact it was ignored
:-)))

There are more bikes than Dutchies. And the canals are filled with them as well. In Amsterdam your bike insurance will be more expensive than your bike as one's bike gets stolen often.
Why? It is the best way to get oneself from one place to another.
There are special bike lanes along the roads and traffic lights.
A familiar sight is mothers bringing their children to school on their bikes. So rain clothes are als a necessary item. After bringing the kids to school, the women will go shopping, using the bike as a trolley for numerous shopping bags.

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At Least Do This: Lock your bike!
Alternative: Don't only lock your bike. Keep it behind lock and key! Someone will steal off the useful parts leaving you with the frame locked to a tree or wherever you left it.

OK....so you are invited for midmorning coffee or midafternoon tea in a Dutch home. You will get a cup and saucer (preferably flowered china of ancient and unknown origin) and a spoon which was bought as a souvenir in some holiday country.
Coffee or tea is poured, a biscuit is offered....

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At Least Do This: take the biscuit!
It's the only thing you will get to eat. After everyone's served, the lid goes on the biscuit tin. If you're lucky you might get another one on the second round of tea and coffee.

Sept. 2007: the wife of our crown prince, the Argentinian Princess Maxima, noted this very fact in one of her speeches this week.
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Alternative: If you are used to a more filling morning coffee or tea, eat something before or after you leave.