Those 'trendy' places and other Amsterdam, Netherlands Nightlife Tips

Amsterdam nightlife sucks. True, there are many places to go out. But many of these are disco's (called 'clubs' here for obscure reasons) aimed at 'trendy' people (which means people without a taste of their own who are willing to let other people tell them what to wear, what to drink and what drugs to take). These places are so trendy that you're only allowed to like them for a limited time, 'cause after a few months they'll become untrendy again for reasons unknown. People actually come here to be stared at by others. Pathetic, isn't it?

OK, I admit it. I have been to such a place once. Not completely voluntarily, mind you, friends dragged me to it even though I begged them not to. And I was extremely bored. First you'll have to get pass a gorilla who decides whether you're good enough to get in. You could be too old, you could be too black or you could be too white. Your clothes could be wrong. You could look too much of a heterosexual. The gorilla, always an extremely ugly person, will even judge you on your looks. Amsterdam tolerant? Yeah right. Unfortunately I was allowed to enter. Looking back, it feels like an insult to me.

If you're 'lucky' enough to pass this ordeal you have the great honour of being allowed to pay a ridiculous price to actually enter the place. Inside you can dance on crappy music and drink expensive but tasteless drinks (Heineken rules in Amsterdam, but you can also get the even worse Bud and Corona) in a smelly place full of people who look like they wish they were made of plastic. You're not going to have a conversation, definitely not an intelligent one. And you're going to pay a big extra fee for going to the toilet., which probably is even filthier than those at the GUM department store in Moscow. Why waste your time and money on a place like that? That is, unless you like this sort of thing of course. Obviously some people do.

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Theme: Dancing
Dress Code: Yes, they have dress codes. Ask the gorilla of your choice about the latest trends. Then pay him a few extra bucks to let you in because by asking you revealed yourself as being untrendy.

Now seriously. There are a few nice bars not aimed at shallow people who will go to extremes in order to be noticed by others. Just the normal 'have a beer and talk' sort of places. But I forgot their names (I really did!). Sorry. But you can recognize them by the complete absence of gorilla's near the door and the civilized volume of the music inside.
Nothing unique to Amsterdam, though, as there are many nice bars throughout the entire country. Except for the prices which are often ridiculously high in Amsterdam. But it's definitely a good thing that these tragically unhip places are even there. Just go out and have a look. Or go straight to Utrecht or Haarlem, where these places are much easier to find. The general atmosphere is more relaxed there too.

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Theme: Other

Amsterdam has two major places for live music. Rock/pop music that is, I don't know much about classical music and even less about jazz.

There's Paradiso and there's De Melkweg. The fact that there was a time when I would travel anywhere for a good concert but was in Melkweg only once (and never in Paradiso) proves that either:

a. These places rarely stage anything interesting;
b. They do stage interesting acts but rarely anything that I can't see anywhere closer to my home;
c. I'm a stupid hippie who should be more interested in contemporary music rather than to wait for Gentle Giant to reform and listening to bands that my parents were supposed to listen to but I'm not and who aren't performing anymore anyway 'cause they're all too old and want to spend their time with their grandchildren.
(how's that for a sentence eh?)

Right. Actually my parents never were hippies and never listened to any music I listen to. They wouldn't know the difference between Frank Zappa and Cat Stevens, let alone that they know who Gentle Giant are/were.

One thing sucks about both places. They demand you to become a 'member' which merely means you don't only pay for your ticket, they'll let you pay an extra fee for 'membership' as well. This does mean you get a discount at further shows that year, but:

a. if you live far away from Amsterdam you won't easily benefit from this;
b. price for admission after the discount is usually as high or still higher as/than at other venues;
c. I'm a stupid hippie and chances at another interesting act that same year are very small.

Right?

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Theme: Concert
Dress Code: Most acts probably sell t-shirts, don't they?