"Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité..." France by F_Meignant

France Travel Guide: 59,659 reviews and 163,209 photos

The country: is all this really serious?

France is an hexagon surrounded by stupid people, enemies and barbarians.

France is not uniform: people from the North don’t understand people from the South.

Main cities:
Paris is the capital. Only Parisians are real French. Except Blacks. Here, they have a big Eiffel tower, often pictured by Japanese tourists.

Marseille was founded by Greeks and is inhabited by Arabs who were stopped at Poitiers by Charles Martel.

Three big rivers flow through Lyon: Rhône, Saône and Beaujolais.

Toulouse is a pink city.

Nice is nice.

According to an old dirty song sung by French men after dinner when they are drunk (which means every day), when you come from Nantes, you have to go to Montaigü (la digue, la digue…)

At Strasbourg, there is a big cathedral and sausages.

At Bordeaux, they make wine for the British who use to burn virgins.

The people:

French guys are fat and dirty. French women are fat, dirty and of easy virtue.

Men smoke like Hell terrible cigarettes made of black tobacco. They call them “Gauloises”.

They always wear a “beret" and slippers they call “Charentaises”.
French women wear stupid headdresses of various shapes, depending on the region.

Men and women eat crazy things like snails or frogs’ legs with cream and garlic.
They use to spread stinking cheeses like “Camembert on a bread they call stick (“baguette”).
They dip buttered slices of bread in light coffee with milk while drinking strong red wine.

After eating, men sing dirty songs, they fart and burp very strongly, thereby showing that they are satisfied. Women wash the dishes and complain.

From the 4 corners of the hexagon, Frenchies always feel that they are the best, but they use to say that all people are equal. Nevertheless, some are more equal than others.

They are completely unable to change their way of life and adapt to modern world. They have nothing against immigrants… but they prefer when they silently die in their own countries.

Institutions:


Picture caption: "You’re lucky, Jacques: we were elected with the same rate, but you don’t have petrol..."

The French President has the choice between being elected and going to jail.

There is Parliament that is called “la Chambre des députés”. That’s why the deputies always sleep when they are here.

There is also a “Sénat”. All the senators are old senile men. They sleep too when participating to Senate meetings. But they also slobber.

When the government makes a mistake, it’s not his fault: it’s because of stupid European agreements.

France has no petrol, but it has ideas.

Death sentence has been abolished since many years, except on roads.

Pros and Cons
  • Pros:70 millions of tourists each year...
  • Cons:60 millions of inhabitants all the year...
  • Intro Updated Nov 2, 2003
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Reviews (16)

Comments (93)

  • Norali's Profile Photo
    Jul 28, 2007 at 6:10 AM

    I like this intro page & this orchid album. For sure, they are not to be cut to make bunches. Yet, last year I took about 6 plants from the wild to grow them at my place (!). Really hope to succeed in this... for their beauty. Not to sell, not to cut.

  • oneonta_ni's Profile Photo
    Jul 4, 2005 at 8:57 AM

    I always enjoy looking at your orchid page - I think the European orchids are so beautiful and always a nice surprise to see them growing in the wild. Hoping to see some of our local Irish orchids this weekend.

  • Mar 5, 2004 at 4:55 AM

    Damm!!! I have just started reading the page and I have already been called a barbarian (I am a neighbour from the south..)... buff.. let me continue..

  • KristaB's Profile Photo
    Mar 3, 2004 at 1:23 AM

    What a laugh! but then scents and tastes and colors made me sigh. I'm trying to learn, and your words are inspiring.Thank you.

  • Jeannette1's Profile Photo
    Nov 2, 2003 at 11:11 AM

    Wow..you must be rich LOL all these restaurants are expensive but I am sure they are worth it :-) Thanks for the recommendations.

  • MEdelmann's Profile Photo
    Jan 28, 2003 at 4:06 AM

    It is ALWAYS more beautiful outside the cities .... again great photography and also good restaurant tips!

  • Porteplume's Profile Photo
    Sep 19, 2002 at 2:07 PM

    Il va falloir nous faire une Page Photo-Reportage sur Othe !... ;-) A un de ces jours sur le Net... Amitiés - Viviane

  • phildeni's Profile Photo
    Sep 18, 2002 at 3:43 PM

    Fantastic!!! The best of VT. Thanks for the "visit" to nature.

  • kenHuocj's Profile Photo
    Jul 19, 2002 at 1:14 PM

    you live very close to Mother Earth ;-)))

  • RhondaRuth's Profile Photo
    Jul 12, 2002 at 7:28 AM

    Such lovely pictures! Thanks for sharing them.

F_Meignant

“Say NO to fast thinking.”

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