"Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité..." France by F_Meignant
France Travel Guide: 59,659 reviews and 163,209 photos
France is an hexagon surrounded by stupid people, enemies and barbarians.
France is not uniform: people from the North don’t understand people from the South.
Paris is the capital. Only Parisians are real French. Except Blacks. Here, they have a big Eiffel tower, often pictured by Japanese tourists.
Marseille was founded by Greeks and is inhabited by Arabs who were stopped at Poitiers by Charles Martel.
Three big rivers flow through Lyon: Rhône, Saône and Beaujolais.
Toulouse is a pink city.
Nice is nice.
According to an old dirty song sung by French men after dinner when they are drunk (which means every day), when you come from Nantes, you have to go to Montaigü (la digue, la digue…)
At Strasbourg, there is a big cathedral and sausages.
At Bordeaux, they make wine for the British who use to burn virgins.
French guys are fat and dirty. French women are fat, dirty and of easy virtue.
Men smoke like Hell terrible cigarettes made of black tobacco. They call them “Gauloises”.
They always wear a “beret" and slippers they call “Charentaises”.
French women wear stupid headdresses of various shapes, depending on the region.
Men and women eat crazy things like snails or frogs’ legs with cream and garlic.
They use to spread stinking cheeses like “Camembert on a bread they call stick (“baguette”).
They dip buttered slices of bread in light coffee with milk while drinking strong red wine.
After eating, men sing dirty songs, they fart and burp very strongly, thereby showing that they are satisfied. Women wash the dishes and complain.
From the 4 corners of the hexagon, Frenchies always feel that they are the best, but they use to say that all people are equal. Nevertheless, some are more equal than others.
They are completely unable to change their way of life and adapt to modern world. They have nothing against immigrants… but they prefer when they silently die in their own countries.
Picture caption: "You’re lucky, Jacques: we were elected with the same rate, but you don’t have petrol..."
The French President has the choice between being elected and going to jail.
There is Parliament that is called “la Chambre des députés”. That’s why the deputies always sleep when they are here.
There is also a “Sénat”. All the senators are old senile men. They sleep too when participating to Senate meetings. But they also slobber.
When the government makes a mistake, it’s not his fault: it’s because of stupid European agreements.
France has no petrol, but it has ideas.
Death sentence has been abolished since many years, except on roads.
- Pros:70 millions of tourists each year...
- Cons:60 millions of inhabitants all the year...
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