This is great for anyone who has ever lived in Kansas:
You know you're from Kansas if:
1. You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
2. You never met any celebrities. (Bob Dole isn't a
celebrity, he's your neighbor.)
3. You know the meaning of Rock Chalk Jayhawk.
4. Your closest neighbor is more than a mile away, and
you can still see him from your front porch.
5. You can properly pronounce Salina, Basehor,
Schoenchen, Kechi and Osawatomie.
6. Going on vacation means going to Hutch to the fair,
Abilene to Ike's house or Boot Hill to see Miss Kitty.
7. You know exactly what calf fries are, and eat them anyway.
8. A traffic jam involves two cars staring each other
down at a four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first.
9. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F150
4x4 is. (except
in Johnson County)
10. You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers
to drive your car.
11. The terms Sooners and Huskers cause the hairs on the back of your neck to stand up straight and your blood pressure to rise.
12. You have owned at least one belt buckle bigger than your fist.
13. You think that people who complain about the wind in their states are sissies.
14. You are not surprised to find movie rentals,
ammunition and bait all in the same store.
15. You know that the true value of a parking space is
not determined by the distance to the door but by the availability of shade.
16. You have been asked, 'Where is Toto' more than once.
17. You prefer the Little Apple over the Big Apple as a place to live.
18. You had at least one summer job that was bucking
bails or custom cutting.
19. You understand the difference between 3.2 and 6
point and more than once you've made a beer run to another state.
20. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned
how to multiply.
21. Your school classes have been canceled because of the cold.
22. You know in your heart that K-State can beat
Oklahoma in football.
23. Traffic congestion is ten cars waiting to pass a
combine on the highway.
24. You have had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
25. You know everything goes better with Ranch.
26. You call that smell coming from the
feedyards...Money.
27. Your school classes have been canceled because of the heat.
28. You complain that you cannot see Scott City...and you are in Dighton!
29. You know that Mt. Oread is really only just a hill.
30. You have seen people wear bib overalls to funerals
and weddings.
31. You have ridden the school bus for more than an hour each way.
32. Over 50% of your wardrobe is purple.
33. In August you break a sweat the instant you step
outside at 7 a.m.
34. You instantly know someone is from Johnson County
when they call everything west of Topeka...Western Kansas.
35. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
36. You know the real way to pronounce the name of
Clinton's state and the river... arKANSAS.
37. You think the opening day of pheasant season is a
national holiday.
Brad L. Knauss
Assistant Director of Marketing
The Lied Center of Kansas
(Photo is a KC Chiefs fan.)
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on Aug 25, 2002
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