"The punishment for laughing is severe!" Augsburg by Lochlainn

Augsburg Travel Guide: 14 reviews and 33 photos

I spent a day in this place - it looks really nice though the Rathaus that everyone's so proud of wouldn't look amiss as the palace of some old Eastern European Soviet Bloc dictator! Anyway, that's not what I came here to say.

My story of Augsburg is all about parking the car, in a carpark attached to the station. Picture this scenario - on a Monday morning myself and my German buddy arrive in his landrover, with me driving it as he's not feeling too well. We're there to pick up two more friends from Wurzburg arriving by train. The car park is gloriously empty so I head straight for a free grid space as close as possible to the entrance and pull up. Next thing there is a knock on the window. I roll down the window and there is a motorbike cop pointing down to the ground with gloved finger. Fearing that I had inadvertently run over a cat (or his foot maybe) I looked down to see the extent of my crime - my front left wheel was <b>ON</b> the white line!!!! He whipped out a book of tickets and gnarled "Ten marks!". I was being fined for sloppy parking! This of course made me laugh - a little too audibly. "Twenty Marks!" was his immediate response. By this time my buddy was trying not to giggle himself and beckoning me with his thumb to reverse out and try again. Which I did - carefully judging the wheel/white line distance as I berthed. "Thirty Marks!" screamed the cop who by now had taken up position on the other side of the car. My right wheel had broken the law this time! I let out a roar of laughter - what else could I do? "Forty Marks!" All three of us almost shouted it together! My buddy was by now in hysterics and it took all our mental strength to guide the car back in for a third attempt, me with my head out of one window and he with his head out the other and with a lot of "Links a bit, Recht a bit" and even more giggling. This time success! All four wheels tucked neatly into the grid with the legal two millimetres leeway on all sides! We cheered. "Fifty Marks!" was the cop's response as he reefed off the ticket and practically flung it into the car. Then he mounted the motorbike and roared off into the morning sun.

As the silence of the place descended on us I realised that we were the only car in the car park. Had he been waiting all morning for some eejit to try to park in that exact spot? Had we 'made his day?' Fellini would have been proud of the scene and included it in a film! Of course if he'd asked to see my driving licence I would really have been in trouble - but since he didn't ask I didn't tell him my secret. I didn't have one! Anyway, Augsburg is lovely (that's the old weavers' guild hall in the pic).

Intro Written Aug 30, 2002
Add to Trip Planner (?)
Report Abuse

Comments (10)

prleprle Aug 19, 2002 at 12:38 PM Report Abuse

Ity`s better to go there by train.... or by foot... but, who
ian-uk Jun 3, 2002 at 12:33 PM Report Abuse

Great story, Happy Birthday!
sim1 Jun 2, 2002 at 4:29 PM Report Abuse

Hahahahahaha, great writing and story!!!
africanee Jan 2, 2002 at 3:03 AM Report Abuse

did that really happen, shame on my town!!! Good laugh
bluefelt Dec 8, 2001 at 11:12 AM Report Abuse

Ha! Remind me to NEVER go there.
lotharlerch Jul 19, 2001 at 10:41 AM Report Abuse

HAHAHAHA
bugalugs Jul 7, 2001 at 1:13 PM Report Abuse

Male drivers! Need I say more :)
keeweechic Jun 27, 2001 at 8:13 AM Report Abuse

I think its cheaper to walk but stay off the lines
sabsi Jun 26, 2001 at 4:45 AM Report Abuse

hahahahahahahahahaha
oja Jun 7, 2001 at 2:10 AM Report Abuse

Just had a 100 DEM laugh... wonderful!